Engaging with Kids in Teletherapy

intervention themes engagement estimated time needed for activity 5 10 minutes recommended age range all ages materials needed these materials are suggestions and listed as a starting point for the therapist to create as few or as many items as needed to engage the child online all these items can be found at a discount/dollar store in the us paper markers sword / or pool noodle cut in half / or a long skinny balloon small tray or container with sand / uncooked rice/beans or cotton balls playdoh fidgets large yoga ball to sit on or a chair that is low to the floor, or a balanced seat allowing the therapist to move their body preparation this video is about how to engage a child online the discussion prompts the therapist to notice the "shoulds" or expectations they tell themselves about connecting with a child in telehealth therefore, the therapist may take a few moments to think about a particular online client and write down the "shoulds" that come up for them this is important because the "shoulds" we tell ourselves can create dysregulation in a therapist, which is normal we all have "shoulds " some of the "shoulds" might be "i should be able to have this child engage with me," "they should be healing faster," and "i should have more ideas to play with the child " as they write down the "shoulds," the therapist can take a breath and notice how their body feels how can we as therapists move through the "shoulds" 1) take a breath, 2) notice how you feel in your body/emotions, 3) name how you feel, 4) mindfulness self compassion if possible, tell yourself i am having a hard time right now, all therapists have hard times, may i be patient with myself/may i be kind to myself because i am not sure what to do (find a phrase that helps you hold self compassion) the listed materials are only a starting point for therapists to consider how they would like to engage a child what matters most is the therapist's relationship with the child and how the therapist can help the child feel seen, safe, soothed, and secure (4 s's terms by dan siegel) we can consider how we would like to engage a child in person and take that idea and create it for the online experience for example, if a child likes to move around, i may consider them having access to blow up balloons (breath or pump) to play keep it up or a pool noodle, but in half, so we can have a sword fight the therapist may consider sending a welcome packet to the parent to give to the child on the days they have an online session encourage the parent to have a container/shoe box to hold the items for online sessions the packet you send may include small items such as playdoh, fidgets, a small notebook, crayons, stickers, a rock, small toys such as people, animals, etc the child can also add the items they would like to the container to use in the therapy session this allows the child to feel seen and known by the therapist therapeutic goals therapist will learn how their perceptions of being online and the "shoulds" they tell themself can impact their engagement online with a child therapist will understand what playfulness means and how playfulness can facilitate the engagement of a child online therapist will understand how to engage children online with play description creating nature puppets activity is designed for children to project their thoughts and feelings onto the nature puppet when we use puppets, we can create distance for painful emotions, playfully practice learning different coping skills, and experience a sense of control and mastery nature in and of itself is healing and promotes improvement in mood and creativity, and offers a grounded experience discussion this video is designed to help the therapist engage the child online the therapist can consider having some time before the session noticing their "shoulds"about on line therapy with children as the therapist notices the "shoulds" take a breath, and name how they feel, then offer themself self compassion often this will help the therapist become more regulated and grounded consider your presence with the child and notice if you can access playful presence playfulness, as described by dan hughes, is a presence of how we show up lighthearted, curious, open, and with enjoyment this is not to be confused with sarcasm or being dismissive of emotions the therapist can notice their facial expression, body language, tone of voice, etc when we are connected to our playful energy, we can be more open to the possibilities of what online play therapy can look like when we are accessing playfulness in us we are in a more regulated state the therapist may ask the child to bring the container of play therapy items in the special box for every session when they gather together the therapist may sit on the floor or a yoga ball, encouraging the child to notice what their body needs to do the therapist may have small toys and ask the client to gather several toys, then take turns with the child storytelling in a container of sand/rice/cotton balls or on the floor the possibilities are endless this is a starting point to empower the therapist to continue to get curious about what may work with their clients processing questions the therapist can ask themselves in the moment of noticing they are having a hard time engaging a child do i need to take a breath? name the emotion, body sensation, or thought (in my head or aloud if appropriate) offer myself mindfulness self compassion or regulate my body in some way when the therapist is connected back to themselves, then it is possible to offer attunement and playfulness with the child about the creator,rose lapiere, lpc, rpt s, acs, emdria certified consultant rose lapiere, lpc, has been a child and family therapist for over 20 years she is a writer, presenter, emdria consultant, registered play therapist supervisor, synergetic play therapy supervisor, and "being with" parent coach she has a private practice in new jersey she works with children and adults through the lens of attachment, mindfulness, therapeutic powers of play, interpersonal neurobiology, and family system theory rose is passionate about teaching and training other professions and integrating nature and sand tray therapy into her work she provides consultation for therapists seeking certification in emdr and play therapy she is the past president of the new jersey counseling association creativity division rose has co edited and co authored nature based play and expressive therapies contact rjlapiere\@mac com